I have not posted in a long time.  My most recent hep c blood work did come back negative.  No viral load.  So it seems I have achieved SVR.  Am I thankful, yes I am . My doctor did not believe I would remain SVR.  But so far I have. Am i frightened, yes I am, there is a 1 percent chance that it can come back. I have a mediation to go to in December. I am scared. So many horrible side effects from those meds. So much I have lost.  As much I try , every time I think that just maybe I can go back to nursing the nightmares return. Sometime I do wish I would have just died. I prayed for death for a long while when I was on treatment. My whole life all I wanted to do was become a nurse. A part of me I think maybe there is something I could do, I did renew my license, just in case. Still I feel my life no longer has a purpose. I was someone, now I am no one. Dammit I hate myself sometimes, and sometimes I do don't, I feel like such a big ass baby. But truth is I am so very tired .Too much to explain now.