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I need to snap out of this, that is what I keep telling myself, snap out of it. I feel much better than when I came home that last day in July. When I think back on that day , that Sunday in July when I could barely walk, my legs did not want to carry me, I couldnt straigten my body up. And the pain was undescribable. All from a virus and me , and I say me because I did not give up, I did keep a postive attitude, I went to work. I guess maybe if I had a less physically demanding job it would have been different. Denise was here yesterday, I really like her, she is so understanding and kind. She mentioned maybe starting outpatient therapy, I hope so, I need to build my strenght up. She has me doing balance exercises,and I have come a long way, but I do still fatigue was easily and start losing my balance, but Denise is encouraging. I can tell when I have done too much. And I want to push myself. Especially with treatment a few weeks away. I need to be physically strong. A pscyh nurse was sent out too, I forgot the differences with Er nursing vs psych nursing. He annoyed me quite a bit, wanted to lable me right away Yes I will agree I am sad, bordering on depression, who would not be? I am strong, but 1 person can only take so much. My job has virtually wiped their hands of me and turned me over to a insurance company , who mission is to try and prove that I acquired hep c before the needlestick. To try and get me "back to work" all before treatment even begins??? I go to on 9/4 I am hoping to start tx unless of course the insurance company refuses to pay the cost of the medication,which I can see them trying to do. They have me set up to see their "specialist on 9/19" it is not to see their specialist it is to put me back to work. Those rotten bastards. I am thinking that I had better make a phone call to Dr Rothsteins office, I can see going to this appointment, and then being told that the insurance company will not pay for the meds. I have to stop, I am making myself anxious, I never had a panic attack in my life, I am now having panic attacks, at least what I think are panic attacks. Hyperventilating, cant talk.